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Dani imagines what it would be like to be a parent, or worse, a single parent

My boyfriend and I were enjoying a stroll one Saturday afternoon. We got some lunch, and while in the pub a man came in with his young son. They sat together and the dad brushed the hair away from the little boy’s eyes.

Once we left the pub we were walking along and saw another man with a kid – presumably his son – sitting on his shoulders. My boyfriend looks up and, his broodiness showing through again, says jokingly, “Please can we have a kid, then split up, so that I can be a Saturday Dad”. Before I could even think I turned to him and said, “No, that’s one of my worst fears!”

The scary thing is that I didn’t know that being a single parent was one of my worst fears, until now that is. It’s mad, isn’t it?! I had never given the subject much thought. Mum and Dad split up when I was little and, like most things that happened when I was little, I didn’t think it had that much of an affect on me… but apparently it has.

Or maybe it’s not the fact that I’d be a single parent, but that I’d be without my boyfriend, because, thinking about it, the bit that bothers me more is not having him. I don’t really factor in that there might be a child involved too! I’m at that stage in our relationship where I couldn’t imagine not having him there. Whether or not he feels the same, I don’t know, but I do. And I like it.

“Please can we have a kid, then split up, so that I can be a Saturday Dad?”

A few of our friends have just become pregnant or are just having their babies and each time we visit one of them I do a weird thing of thinking about kids myself – but not saying it. Then almost as soon as we leave, the feeling goes. It’s like we play this grown-up, getting-a-mortgage game and then get far too scared by the idea to say anything about it.

It’s so weird seeing these friends of ours become parents, their whole worlds change completely, and they love it, it’s wonderful to see, but the idea of even having a hamster dependent on me is frightening. The idea that one day I’d be in their shoes is terrifying.

It never scared me before, but I suppose then it was just a distant thought. Now, it’s got the possibility of happening someday sooner rather than later, so I’m freaked out! I still have trouble seeing myself as an adult – it’s hardly surprising when every shopkeeper thinks I’m 15 and skipping school.

Most of the girls I went to school with have children now. A few of them had their kids four years ago – at 16. Some of them, their only goals in life were to get pregnant and get a council flat. I’m still as bemused by that now.

I can’t explain just how strange it is seeing all these people play the grown-up game, and it’s even stranger feeling like I could play it too if I tried. I’m quite happy saving up to get a flat and learning how to live life to the fullest.

20 yr old Dani has been busy watching telly, biting her nails and playing on her computer

I am sitting in front of the telly and I have just seen the scariest advert in the world… it’s for a thing called Igglepiggle, a kid’s toy that has got something to do with ‘blanket time’. And I have never seen anything so creepy. Of all the toys on a kid’s bed that, in a Stephen King novel, might become possessed, this is the one. Thank the lord I got that out of my system. Someone else must find that creepy, right?

I am sitting in front of the telly and I have just seen the scariest advert in the world… it’s for a thing called Igglepiggle, a kid’s toy that has got something to do with ‘blanket time’. And I have never seen anything so creepy. Of all the toys on a kid’s bed that, in a Stephen King novel, might become possessed, this is the one. Thank the lord I got that out of my system. Someone else must find that creepy, right?

Having just arrived home from a weekend away in a tent, I have a slightly tanned face and white bits on the ends of my nails. Who would have thought that the main point of conversation between our group of friends was about pooing in portaloos or, more precisely, that none of us would… which resulted in mass tummyache on getting home!

"I wanted to get home to touch my new computer. Who am I kidding? I’m as sad as they come"

You tend to learn something about yourself when you go away to something like that, and I think the main lesson from the weekend was that you don’t necessarily have to get really drunk to have a good time. We all stayed pretty sober, (well, sober-ish), and still managed to stay up until dawn and dance the night away.

But the biggest thing learnt by all was that hula hooping is the best fun in the world. And I’ll tell you one thing… the guys from The Happiness Band sure can hula hoop.

Although I enjoyed being at the festival, I missed my new toy. I had saved and saved and bought myself a MacBook and, like every new owner of a MacBook, I spent my first few days with it taking pictures of myself with the little camera, and using all the different settings to see what you look like with your mouth on your forehead. I wanted to get home to touch my new computer, because I love it so much. But, of course, I kept that a secret because it’s just pretty sad. But who am I kidding? I am as sad as they come. Using my MacBook I joined Facebook, and then unjoined Facebook. I got to grips with my widgets which always get the weather right.

What else have I been doing, other than trying and failing to eat my five-a-day? I have been enjoying having a bit of time off. I have, (in an bid to help with the five-a-day thing), been planting my own veggies and looking after them. I have just realised I have turned into my grandmother. I have been trying to get my phone bill down, and trying to decide whether I should dye my hair any blonder. Do I want to see The Simpsons Movie? Or has ten years of episodes filled my quota?